True Gifts

I have to admit that when I saw the quote by Thoreau about giving, I wanted to slam the book closed and move on to the next thing. But, I believe it's true. Any true gift is a portion of you or me. Doesn't have to be much, but some days it feels like everything I've got left. When the phone rings I sometimes cringe; when suddenly I'm no longer shopping alone, but with neighbors (who expect some sort of interaction), my heart sinks at times. I don't mean to be, well, mean, but there are days I feel like one more question, one more request, one more intrusion will be my undoing. And, I find myself hiding out ... in my house, on the road, on a desolate aisle (wishing it was an isle instead) ... trying to keep from giving myself away, trying to push away.



Now, that can be a healthy thing. Jesus did it alot, this pulling away for a "season" to regroup. Perhaps if I had set better boundaries, I wouldn't feel so frazzled in the first place. Then again, there are just some days, weeks, seasons where no matter what you do to protect yourself or others, life comes from all angles. I almost pulled away this past Monday, Memorial Day, and stayed inside the quiet of my house and my own thoughts. But, it would be hard to avoid the party going on in the neighbors' backyard. Tyler had invited me to his 5th birthday party and, it seemed, the whole neighborhood was there. I got there late, but in plenty of time to watch all the shenanigans in the pool, to see the fun games that the kids played with each other and on each other. I even participated in a little banter with the adults who were close enough to the pool to see all the action, but were just beyond the splash zone. It was all better than tolerable, but I kept telling myself ... "another few minutes and it'll be o.k. to leave. You made your appearance ..." Some gift. Especially in comparison to the one Tyler gave me.



A couple of the kids had ballgames to get dressed for, so the gift-opening came rather abruptly. A circle was made of soaking little bodies all around Tyler and the loot was laid at his feet. After each bag was unstuffed or box unwrapped, everyone oo'ed and aahh'ed or wow'ed, Tyler wrinkled up his nose in an embarrassed little grin (like "all this is for me?") and moved quickly to the next. The present from his mom and dad, of course came last. Tyler hadn't even noticed that one from them was missing from the pile ... he thought the party was his present. His dad rolled a new bicycle out the back steps of the house, right into the middle of that circle ... a circle of kids now drooling over the sleek, shiny, new bike. They looked at Tyler like he was the luckiest kid on the planet; the look on Tyler's face echoed that sentiment. And, he let his dad get him started motoring through the grass on the new wheels (not an easy things to do when you have spaghetti legs from swimming and a host on on-lookers). Before he'd pedaled 20 feet, Tyler stopped, leaned back over his shoulder, and said, "George, you wanna ride my new bike?"



I probably need to tell you that George, though physically a neighbor, is the newest friend in Tyler's circle. They're very different kids: Tyler is rough-and-tumble, never stops moving; George, not so much. Tyler is the baby of four; George is an only child. You can imagine all the differences and I would tell you there are even more. George had struggled just a bit during the party so far to really fit in; he got into the mix of things, but only when his mom pushed or another kid pulled. Everyone one of us there heard those booming words; Tyler singled George out and invited him to ride his brand new bike! Now that's a gift! Maybe even better than the bike itself. And, all from the heart of a 5-year-old.



All of us party-go-ers that day got a better present than anything Tyler unwrapped. That truth might be hard to sell to a kid, but those a little older got the message. It was like we were watching Jesus with red hair and freckles and a voice that sounds like one of my favorite 5-year-olds. The only true gift you or I will ever give anyone else, will have a little of ourselves wrapped up in it. Instead of making an appearance, or smiling through my irritation the next time I'm feeling frazzled or even put upon, I'm gonna do my best to leave a little of myself in that moment. You never know what effect it might have on a person ... even yourself!